He Knew What He Was Getting

Show Notes

If you are looking for your first major AHA moment of 2020, discover the freedom of a simple phrase.
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Audio Transcription

Jill Donovan:
Hi and welcome back to CEO-ish bracelets. I’m Jill Donovan and with me today and every day is Kelly Smith. Hi Kelly.

Kelly Smith:
Hi.

Jill Donovan:
Okay Kelly, I have to tell you this story. First of all, happy New Year again.

Kelly Smith:
Happy New Year to you.

Jill Donovan:
When can you not say happy New Year anymore?

Kelly Smith:
I think after January 31st.

Jill Donovan:
Okay, so I have to tell you this story because as you know, we have been at Disney World for the last few days-

Kelly Smith:
I do know that, celebrating-

Jill Donovan:
My brother, my twin brother’s bracelets birthday.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, how old is he?

Jill Donovan:
He is 50.

Kelly Smith:
Oh my gosh.

Jill Donovan:
I know.

Kelly Smith:
Happy birthday Jeff.

Jill Donovan:
Happy birthday Jeff. So there was a very large percentage of bracelets chance that it was going to rain at Disney while we were there. And I thought, “Ah, how often is that weather really right?” But it was so large that I thought, “I’ll wear a jacket that has a hood.” And it was 98% chance or whatever the highest is right below a 100%. I don’t know if they’re 95% or … Okay, so-

Kelly Smith:
But it didn’t keep you home from the parks?

Jill Donovan:
No, it did not keep us home, but we came off, we were in Norway.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
In Epcot and we came off of the Frozen Ride and we opened the door to go outside and it was not just raining, but it was like a torrential downpour. And up to this point it had not rained at all. And you wait in line for the ride and then the ride is 10 minutes or so. And so it gave it enough time to just start pouring rain so bad that it pretty much cleared everybody out off the sidewalks and they took cover. Well Terry, being the-

Kelly Smith:
Who’s Terry?

Jill Donovan:
Terry, my husband, thank you for clarifying, helping me to clarify, he being the ever kind, thoughtful, wise soul that he is bought 10 ponchos.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, he is so good.

Jill Donovan:
Ahead of time.

Kelly Smith:
That perfectly describes who he is.

Jill Donovan:
Well you should have seen his face when we got off the ride and then we were going out, getting ready to go outside and he just held his bag up like-

Kelly Smith:
Gotcha.

Jill Donovan:
… he just smiled. And so we all put the ponchos on. And I said, “Okay, let’s run for it.” Because we were leaving, after the Frozen Ride we were headed to the car. And I said, “Let’s run for it.” And he said, “Why don’t we just wait until it passes? I’m sure it’s going to pass.” And I thought, “It may be another 20, 30 minutes. I don’t want to stand here in Norway for another 20 minutes.” Says no one ever.

Kelly Smith:
Right.

Jill Donovan:
And so because-

Kelly Smith:
In Disney World, I don’t want to stand here in Disney World.

Jill Donovan:
Because it was my birthday, it was my actual birthday, I convinced him that we should all run to our transportation. All 10 of us took off running, and the second you left the building, you were drenched. Shoes, I mean even though you had bracelets ponchos on, it didn’t matter. It was just every hole in any way in the poncho through the neck, you were drenched.

Kelly Smith:
When it’s wet on the inside of your poncho, it’s really raining.

Jill Donovan:
And as we’re running and we’re passing Mexico, I hear Terry saying very loudly, and nobody’s on the sidewalks, it’s just the Donovan’s, just the whole family and the reamers. And I hear him say, “I’m going to throw somebody in the lake.” And I thought, “Oh my goodness, did he get sideways with somebody on the sidewalk? There’s nobody out here.” And I looked at Alison, who I was running with and she said-

Kelly Smith:
And I’m sorry, who’s Alison?

Jill Donovan:
Alison is my twin brother’s wife.

Kelly Smith:
Yes.

Jill Donovan:
She’s my sister-in-law. And I said, “Who’s Terry talking to?” And he said, “I’m going to throw somebody in the lake.” Well that’s not like Terry to say anything like that. And then I realized, wait a second, he’s talking to me.

Kelly Smith:
You’re like, “I don’t care, because I’m already soaking wet.”

Jill Donovan:
He said, “Why in the world? This was the most unwise thing we could have done was to run in the rain in our ponchos when we could have waited at the Frozen Ride.” And-

Kelly Smith:
I’m sorry, can I interrupt you?

Jill Donovan:
Please do.

Kelly Smith:
I have to just tell you, this is nothing new with the two of you.

Jill Donovan:
No.

Kelly Smith:
You are the same brand that you were 20 years ago. So is Terry, he knew what he was getting when he married you.

Jill Donovan:
Exactly.

Kelly Smith:
This is no surprise to him. “We should run in the rain.” I mean, I’ve known you for 30 years. It’s the same thing for 30 years, “Let’s run out in the rain.” “I don’t think we should do that. My shoes are going to get wet and then they’re going to be sloshy.” You are just a run in the rain kind of gal.

Jill Donovan:
So what I should have said when he said, “I’m going to throw somebody in the lake,” I should have said, “You knew what you were getting.”

Kelly Smith:
You knew what you were getting, Terry Donovan.

Jill Donovan:
Yes. And so you know what I said?

Kelly Smith:
And you still wanted me.

Jill Donovan:
You know what I said? “The rain is not going to let up anytime soon.” And then 60 seconds later, not even 60 seconds-

Kelly Smith:
I know, oh that’s the worst.

Jill Donovan:
… it stopped raining. And by this point the shoes were completely drenched. Everybody’s shoes were, everybody’s clothes. You couldn’t walk around the park like that.

Kelly Smith:
It’s the shoes that was the clincher.

Jill Donovan:
Yes. Except I was the only one wearing sandals that didn’t matter if it got wet, everybody else had tennis shoes on. The entire party had tennis shoes, bracelets, and so we got in the van and I didn’t say a word. I didn’t say anything, because I thought, “I’m sure he’s going to apologize.”

Kelly Smith:
Because that wasn’t very kind for him to say that he’s going to throw me in the lake-

Jill Donovan:
At all, in front of all those people-

Kelly Smith:
My children were there.

Jill Donovan:
… who were on the sidewalk. And do you know what? It is the thing that we talked about for two days, it is the memory. That was the biggest bracelets memory and the most fun we had was running in the ponchos in the rain while I almost got thrown in the lake.

Kelly Smith:
Because you made a memory.

Jill Donovan:
I waited for an apology.

Kelly Smith:
Did you get one?

Jill Donovan:
Do you remember the last time you waited for an apology from [Gayle 00:05:33]?

Kelly Smith:
Yes.

Jill Donovan:
Did you get it?

Kelly Smith:
No.

Jill Donovan:
I didn’t get it either. And so then I think, “Okay Jill, how can you get him to apologize without you asking for an apology?”

Kelly Smith:
Oh, I’d love to hear this.

Jill Donovan:
So we’re all in the van. There are 11 of us and, with the driver and I said, “I heard you say something, you were going to throw somebody in the lake, what happened to you out there?” And surely then he would say, “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, because it was such a fun memory.” And he didn’t say anything and he took off a shoe and was emptying the water out of it. And then so he didn’t say anything and I thought I’ll just give it some time.

Jill Donovan:
And then I whispered in his ear, because he was sitting next to me, I said, “Do you think now would be a good time to say you’re sorry for saying that in front of everybody?”

Kelly Smith:
And then he whispered back-

Jill Donovan:
“Your word for 2020 is undefendable.” And then I said, “You knew what you were getting.” I really wish I would have had that line when it happened.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, I am sorry.

Jill Donovan:
I felt so guilty. But now I realize I shouldn’t have felt guilty.

Kelly Smith:
I used that line all the time with my husband. He gets frustrated because I’m upset, because I mean, I’m from New Jersey for heaven sakes. You knew this when we got … When we were dating you liked this about me?

Jill Donovan:
Like give me an example of something that has happened that-

Kelly Smith:
I just lose my cool quickly. I mean, I calm back down pretty quickly too, but I get kind of bracelets exasperated-

Jill Donovan:
But I need a specific.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. So, well just in general, every time I talk with my kids, Gayle’s always like kind of given me the, “I think it’s time to settle down,” because I just get elevated really quickly. If I say, “Guys, come down for dinner,” and they don’t come and then I’ll go to the top stairs and I’m like screaming, “I said, come down right now.” And then he goes, “Kelly, relax.” And I was like, “You knew what you were getting-

Jill Donovan:
You knew what you were getting.

Kelly Smith:
… this is who I am. I scream a lot.” I mean, I’m not necessarily mad. I’m just like, I get quickly crazy and then I calm right back down.

Jill Donovan:
I am so excited about this, because at dinner time when there is nothing on the table, all I’m going, as a matter of fact I’m getting a shirt that said, “You knew what you were getting.”

Kelly Smith:
You knew what you were getting when you were asking me to marry you.

Jill Donovan:
Now my kids when there isn’t dinner, now because I don’t love to cook and you know that. Can I say that to them? “You knew what you were getting,” when they say, “Mom, why don’t we ever have food on the table?” Can I say, “Ireland, you knew what you were getting.”

Kelly Smith:
I want to say you can say that, but I-

Jill Donovan:
Who can you say that to, besides your husband?

Kelly Smith:
All right, you could say to your parents, “You did this.”

Jill Donovan:
Oh, that’s another good one. You did this and you knew what you were getting. Well what can you, yeah.

Kelly Smith:
What can you say to your children? I guess you can just say-

Jill Donovan:
“Your dad knew what he was getting.”

Kelly Smith:
You said, “Oh sorry, I’m saving for your bracelets therapy as you get older, it’s fine.”

Jill Donovan:
You know what? That is going to take a lot of guilt off of my shoulders this year I sing, “You knew what you were getting.”

Kelly Smith:
I’m sorry, you do. You know me, I know you, we’re working together. You know what you’re getting. This is not a bracelets surprise here. You know what you’re getting when you hire me. This is who I am.

Jill Donovan:
Oh, so you can say that to your boss too?

Kelly Smith:
You can say it to your boss.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah.

Kelly Smith:
You can say it to your employee, you knew … Okay, I love Rustic Cuff. I love working here. This is my favorite job I’ve ever had. There are a lot of fun things we do, a lot of crazy things we do. A lot of things that when you say it to somebody else, they’re like, “What were you saying you were doing?”

Jill Donovan:
You wore your bathing suit on Tuesday?

Kelly Smith:
Did you say she made you stand outside and do a lemonade stand in your bathing suit on Harvard? “Yes. That’s what I’m saying.”

Jill Donovan:
And then you say-

Kelly Smith:
And then you say, “I knew what I was getting into.”

Jill Donovan:
I knew what I was getting-

Kelly Smith:
This is exactly, I knew what I was getting into. If I don’t want to do it, then I can say, “No thank you. I don’t want to work here.”

Jill Donovan:
Not that it gives you an excuse to do things and then say, “You knew what you were getting.” It’s not a reason to do something. It’s just who you are.

Kelly Smith:
It’s who I am. Like I’m sorry, I love Terry. He’s a wonderful man. He is patient, kind, classy. Okay, you are a run through the rain type of gal-

Jill Donovan:
In a poncho or not.

Kelly Smith:
That is why he loves you. And he knew that when he was dating you.

Jill Donovan:
But why would he say he was going to throw me into that lake?

Kelly Smith:
Because after 20 something years I guess it’s a little less charming for him or something. I don’t know.

Jill Donovan:
How do I bring the charm back to remind him what he got? So I don’t have to say, “You knew what you were getting.” No, I’m joking. I think he really, he will always say that I knew what I was getting. From now on he will always say that.

Kelly Smith:
Starting now. I’m getting you that shirt for your birthday.

Jill Donovan:
Starting now. No, I think it was just a moment of his shoes were soaking wet-

Kelly Smith:
I know.

Jill Donovan:
… and it would cause you to say things you don’t mean. But I feel set free by this.

Kelly Smith:
You should.

Jill Donovan:
It’s crazy, because, “Terry, you knew what you were getting.”

Kelly Smith:
Well and in the same respect with you marrying Terry and he, you kind of knew he wasn’t necessarily going to be a run in the rain type of guy. He was going to be the stay put, which you love about him, but it doesn’t make you mad at him for not running. You just are like, “Come on, come on, let’s do it.” So I think it kind of comes back to that when he’s going to throw you in the lake, if you’re like, “You don’t have to be mad. You know what this was.”

Jill Donovan:
And you know, if we go to a movie, the difference is, Terry will … He’ll wear a suit.

Kelly Smith:
He looks so good all the time. I’m like, he looks ready to step out of a GQ Magazine.

Jill Donovan:
He does.

Kelly Smith:
How does he look that good all the time?

Jill Donovan:
And I will go to the movies with a few spots that I just got on me from painting, but I don’t want to take the time to change my tennis skirt and my tank top and with a backwards baseball hat. And he’s really sweet. He’ll look at me and he’ll say, “I’ll wait for you while you change bracelets and clothes.” And you know what I’m going to say now?

Kelly Smith:
What?

Jill Donovan:
You knew what you were getting.

Kelly Smith:
You knew what you were getting.

Jill Donovan:
Oh, how freeing is that. Thank you Kelly.

Kelly Smith:
You’re welcome.

Jill Donovan:
And we’ll see you next time on CEO-ish. Thanks, Kelly.

Kelly Smith:
Bye.