Husbands – When You Know You Know

Show Notes

If you have ever wondered what to do when your significant other is not as sure as you are about a future together, then listen in as Kelly humorously shares her story about how she handled those emotions and how that confidence and strength continues to help her even now...three children later!
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Audio Transcription

Jill Donovan:
Do you ever feel like you’re building an ark with only the instructions for a canoe? If so, you’re not alone. Welcome to CEO-ish, where we’ll discuss traveling the path of the unknown while making it your own.

Jill Donovan:
Today is Pick a Topic Tuesday. Okay.

Kelly Smith:
Oh good.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah, and so, do you know what that means?

Kelly Smith:
No.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
I can’t wait to hear though.

Jill Donovan:
That means that we put four bracelets topics in here.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
We’re going to let you pick one, and whichever one you pick, we’re going to tell the best CEO-ish bracelets story about this topic.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. I can’t imagine what this topic could possibly be.

Jill Donovan:
Really?

Kelly Smith:
Yeah.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Here we go.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, we wrote… Oh, “Husbands.”

Jill Donovan:
“Husbands.”

Kelly Smith:
I don’t know if I want to talk about that one.

Jill Donovan:
Well, you know, husbands are often CEOs of the home, not your home, but-

Kelly Smith:
“Often.”

Jill Donovan:
So let’s start off with your best husband story.

Kelly Smith:
My best husband story. Well, probably one of my favorite husband stories is that… It’s more of a series of stories, because my husband is very touchy feely. He’s a super… He’s emotional. He likes to talk about his bracelets feelings. I do not like to do any of those things.

Jill Donovan:
You only cry when your TV goes down.

Kelly Smith:
When my TV breaks. Yes, that’s right. Or in church. I cry in church too.

Jill Donovan:
For real? For real cry?

Kelly Smith:
I do.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
I always cry in church.

Jill Donovan:
You are the pastor’s wife and I didn’t know if that just-

Kelly Smith:
Well, I like Jesus.

Jill Donovan:
No, you love Jesus.

Kelly Smith:
But I don’t like church.

Jill Donovan:
Well, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first. Kelly Smith, pastor’s wife, loves Jesus. Doesn’t like church.

Kelly Smith:
Does anybody like church?

Jill Donovan:
Well that might be tomorrow’s podcast. We’ll put that as a question for next.

Kelly Smith:
Okay, good idea. Okay, so the husband story is that when Guile and I first were dating and we were kind of getting serious about like, “I think this might be the one, we should maybe talk about maybe could we get engaged?” And we started talking about it.

Jill Donovan:
How old were you?

Kelly Smith:
22.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
And so it was Christmas time and we didn’t have any money. Surprise. And Guile was going to… We were going to celebrate Christmas before he went home or something. And so he decided we went and looked at Christmas lights. Remember that crazy house that was like a-

Jill Donovan:
Yes.

Kelly Smith:
We went to do that one.

Jill Donovan:
Like 200,000 lights.

Kelly Smith:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). And it was like a show stopper. You had to go by every Christmas. And then he made me a little paper ring. Which was very sweet because he’s touchy feely. And he said, “I don’t have any money to buy a ring, but let’s go to the mall and just pick out what you’d like.”

Jill Donovan:
And had you been engaged?

Kelly Smith:
No, no, no. We were talking about getting married.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
So this was like the before the getting engaged, he was like, “I don’t have the money just yet, but for Christmas I’d rather not…”

Jill Donovan:
So he origamied his way into your heart.

Kelly Smith:
Into not buying me a present for Christmas.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Origami set.

Kelly Smith:
So anyway, we went to the mall because we were going to look at rings. And I was like, “Okay, this is great.” So on the way to the mall, he starts to get really quiet, just not saying anything. And this, I have now realized, is the hallmark for Guile when he is feeling stress, like, “Oh, I’m stressed, something’s going on.” So I finally am like, we get all the way to the bracelets mall. No words have been spoken. And I was like, “Okay, what’s going on here?” And he goes, “I don’t feel really good. I don’t feel good about this.”

Jill Donovan:
Nuh-uh.

Kelly Smith:
Yeah.

Jill Donovan:
About getting married to you?

Kelly Smith:
About all of the things like, “I don’t want to go in and look at the ring. I’m freaking out.” And I was like, “Oh, this is so typical you. You’re freaking out.”

Jill Donovan:
I would have eaten the ring right there.

Kelly Smith:
So I was like, “Let’s go.” So we went back to campus. He dropped me off. I was very irritated.

Jill Donovan:
Did you still have the paper ring?

Kelly Smith:
I did have the paper ring. I did. Or maybe he kept it. I can’t remember. But I was pretty irritated. So he, of course, a couple of days later apologized. “I don’t know. I was just freaking out.” Whatever. Well, this is the beginning of a long line of these kinds of things. My entire bracelets relationship with him. So, he gets over it and realizes he was just freaking out. So fast forward a little bit more. We are actually engaged at this point. He’s gotten over it.

Jill Donovan:
Real ring?

Kelly Smith:
Real ring. The whole thing. And we’re watching Quantum Leap over at my parent’s house, because that’s what you did in the 90s. And he says, “I have something to tell you.” And I was like, “Oh great, here it comes again. What is it?” He goes, “I never actually heard God tell me to marry you.”

Jill Donovan:
Oh no.

Kelly Smith:
I was like, “That’s it?” He goes, “Yeah, that’s it. You don’t care.” And I was like, “I don’t care. I’m over it.”

Jill Donovan:
I don’t even like church. Why would I care if God told you?

Kelly Smith:
Why would I care?

Jill Donovan:
He told you that God never told him?

Kelly Smith:
Yeah. And I said, “Okay.” I feel okay with that. I mean like, are we-

Jill Donovan:
Is there ever a point in between when that happened and the time you actually got married that he said, “I now feel…”

Kelly Smith:
No.

Jill Donovan:
And has there ever been a point where he said, “Now I know.”

Kelly Smith:
No, I think I said, “Nobody is going to be married to you but me.” So he’s like, “I know. I know.”

Jill Donovan:
That might be the best husband story I’ve ever heard because you’ve-

Kelly Smith:
Oh wait. Hold on.

Jill Donovan:
No, I’m holding.

Kelly Smith:
Final, final in the three part series is where, all right, we get married, we’re on our honeymoon and it’s the day after the wedding and he does the whole, starts to get quiet thing again and I’m like, “Here it comes, what’s wrong now?” And he goes, “I just… I feel like really overwhelmed like this is forever.” And I was like, “Too late now buddy, you’re in.”

Jill Donovan:
Can we call Guile right now?

Kelly Smith:
Call him.

Jill Donovan:
Can we call him? I want to ask him if God has ever spoken to him to tell you.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
Can we call him? Okay, call him for me please. Oh, I just have to know if God ever told him, so don’t give any bracelets backstory for him.

Kelly Smith:
I’m sure he’s going to answer-

Jill Donovan:
Well, he’s a pastor-

Kelly Smith:
… a little scared because of the last conversation with the television that we had.

Jill Donovan:
What if he gets silent on me?

Kelly Smith:
Should I put him on speaker phone?

Jill Donovan:
Yeah. Put him on speaker, just hold it up to the bracelets mic.

Jill Donovan:
Oh, I can’t wait. Let’s shock and awe him.

Kelly Smith:
He’s going to answer because he’s afraid of me from last time. Unless he’s in a meeting and then he shouldn’t answer.

Jill Donovan:
He should still.

Kelly Smith:
Because he’s a pastor and he’s talking to people. So disappointing.

Jill Donovan:
That’s too many rings for it to not go to voicemail.

Voicemail:
Please leave your message for-

Jill Donovan:
He doesn’t even leave his own-

Voicemail:
Guile Smith.

Kelly Smith:
No, that was it.

Jill Donovan:
Have him call you back.

Kelly Smith:
Hey, I need you to call me back. You’re missing a golden opportunity here. So call me. Bye.

Jill Donovan:
Well now he’s going to think he’s really missing a golden opportunity.

Kelly Smith:
Maybe he thinks something else is a golden opportunity.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. All right, so when was the last time Guile got quiet on you?

Kelly Smith:
Yesterday.

Jill Donovan:
And what was the problem then?

Kelly Smith:
He still does this. He has a lot of freak out moments where he’s overwhelmed by bracelets or life or whatever. So this is a pattern.

Jill Donovan:
You were never freaked out when he said, “God hasn’t told me to marry you yet.”

Kelly Smith:
No. Which is how you know I’m the right girl for him. It doesn’t bother me.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah, you might be the right girl for my husband as well. Seriously, I wish you were me back then. You never freaked out?

Kelly Smith:
No, I don’t. I freak out about small decisions like, “Should I get the Glad garbage bags or should I get the Hefty garbage bags? 33 gallons, 30 gallons. Oh my God.” But the big stuff-

Jill Donovan:
Get both.

Kelly Smith:
I don’t freak out about the big stuff.

Jill Donovan:
Wow.

Kelly Smith:
No.

Jill Donovan:
Really?

Kelly Smith:
Big stuff is easy.

Jill Donovan:
And yet you still don’t know what CEO ish bracelets stands for?

Kelly Smith:
No. That means the in charge-ish.

Jill Donovan:
How about we change places for a day and I’ll sit across from that TV all day and watch TV.

Kelly Smith:
Oh yeah, nobody would like that.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah. Can we change places for one day?

Kelly Smith:
I don’t think that wouldn’t go well.

Jill Donovan:
No, it would. I think you’d do really well because you wouldn’t care about any of the decisions you made.

Kelly Smith:
Or I’d just make a lot of them and then you can just clean them up the next day.

Jill Donovan:
I don’t like to clean up at all. Thank you so much for being on here today.

Kelly Smith:
You’re welcome.

Jill Donovan:
I can’t end… I was going to say a good trait about Terry, because I can.

Kelly Smith:
Oh yeah, well you started to sort say about that.

Jill Donovan:
Terry is full of wisdom. I appreciate that about Terry, which is probably why he doesn’t respond to me in the way that I deserve to be responded to.

Kelly Smith:
He is one of those guys that, unlike me, he thinks before he speaks versus like me, who just speaks it all and then I’m processing as it’s coming out. So when he actually talks, you really want to hear what he has to say.

Jill Donovan:
Exactly. When he speaks, people listen.

Kelly Smith:
Yeah.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah. That’s why I want people to listen.

Kelly Smith:
Me too.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah.

Kelly Smith:
We should stop talking. I mean, just a suggestion.

Jill Donovan:
And that wraps up Pick a Topic Tuesday. I’m going to end with Kelly’s favorite bracelets quote.

Kelly Smith:
Again?

Jill Donovan:
Which she’s had three days to think about this.

Kelly Smith:
Yes. My favorite quote is, “One day at a time.” That’s my favorite quote.

Jill Donovan:
We’ll see you tomorrow. One day from now.