Off Guard – Surprising Employees At Work

Show Notes

On today's episode, Jill catches one of her employees off guard and surprises her with something when she least expects it.
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Audio Transcription

Jill Donovan:
Do you ever feel like you’re building an ark with only the instructions for a canoe? If so, you’re not alone. Welcome to CEO-ish where we’ll discuss traveling the path of the unknown while making it your own.

Jill Donovan:
Today we are going to do something, a little bracelets segment that we like to call Off Guard, and what we’re going to do is call one of my employees and ask her to come down to HR. And then she’s going to be sitting in this seat and we will see how that goes. Here we go. Ready? The particular employee we’re calling today is Kelly. If she answers it, it means her phone is too close to her. It should be in her purse while she’s working. Here we go. Okay.

Kelly Smith:
Hello?

Jill Donovan:
Hey, Kel?

Kelly Smith:
Hi.

Jill Donovan:
Will you do me a favor? I am in Casey’s bracelets office. I cannot get a hold of Chrissy. We are looking at something for the fall and I don’t want to move forward without somebody’s approval from art deco, preferably Chrissy, but will you come down here really quick?

Kelly Smith:
Yes, fine.

Jill Donovan:
Thank you so much. Totally clueless. How did you know?

Kelly Smith:
Because you don’t call me and ask me things like that.

Jill Donovan:
I do ask you questions.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, it’s this too?

Jill Donovan:
You’ll sound much better when you put those on. Okay, this is Kelly Smith. And before we start we are going to tell… Kelly, will you just tell them why you’re even here in the first place?

Kelly Smith:
Well, I don’t know why I’m here.

Jill Donovan:
Well not here, here. How long have you been working at Rustic Cuff?

Kelly Smith:
I want to say five years.

Jill Donovan:
Five years. Okay. And will you tell everybody what your day job is?

Kelly Smith:
Is there a anniversary present for working here for five years?

Jill Donovan:
Yes. Erica, anniversary present please, pronto. Will you tell everybody what your day job is, kelly?

Kelly Smith:
I make art deco bracelets. Oh my voice sounds amazing.

Jill Donovan:
Kelly is a pastor’s wife. That’s her day job.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, oh. Right. That’s what I meant.

Jill Donovan:
That’s her day job. And why did you start working? Because you didn’t want to work on bracelets because Kelly is not what you call a workaholic.

Kelly Smith:
Now that’s not true.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
Because I can get the job done.

Jill Donovan:
I’ll tell the truths around here.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. I started working because, well, I was just like any mom. I was doing a little part time job and then I got sucked into the bracelets-

Jill Donovan:
You just offended all the moms that are not doing part time jobs.

Kelly Smith:
… My husband’s a pastor. Did I mention that?

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
That’s why I had to work.

Jill Donovan:
So you got sucked in…

Kelly Smith:
To the vortex of Rustic Cuff. And I remember this used to be three days a week for about four hours a day. That was what the bracelets job was. And now somehow I’m here every day, all day long.

Jill Donovan:
I’m sorry.

Kelly Smith:
No, it’s okay. It’s all right. It’s a pretty good job.

Jill Donovan:
And does it bring you joy to come here, as much joy as it brings us to see you? As much joy, don’t read the notes. As much joy as it brings us to see you every day?

Kelly Smith:
It does. It actually, truly does.

Jill Donovan:
Well, I hope this will bring you joy, what we’re getting ready to do then.

Kelly Smith:
Oh yes! [crosstalk 00:03:21].

Jill Donovan:
Tell them where you’re from first and what your best talent is in relation to where you’re from.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. I’m from New Jersey even though I’ve lived in Tulsa for probably 25 years, but I don’t call myself a Tulsan. I call myself a New Jersey-ian.

Jill Donovan:
Could you say that again with your New Jersey accent?

Kelly Smith:
I would say that I’m from New Jersey. And let me tell you something. Jersey girls are the best. Right, Jersey girls?

Jill Donovan:
That was not good at all, like at all.

Kelly Smith:
That was.

Jill Donovan:
No, I’ve heard so much better. Try something else.

Kelly Smith:
I’m just a little on the spot.

Jill Donovan:
Just try one more thing. Another sentence that sounds [crosstalk 00:03:57].

Kelly Smith:
Well, now I don’t know what to say.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. We’ll save that for question number eight. Okay. What we’re going to play here is something called Off Guard.

Kelly Smith:
Yes!

Jill Donovan:
Okay. You ready?

Kelly Smith:
Yep.

Jill Donovan:
And I want you to answer the first question that comes to your mind.

Kelly Smith:
I love this game already.

Jill Donovan:
Don’t second guess yourself.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
How many kids do you have?

Kelly Smith:
Three!

Jill Donovan:
It’s not timed.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, okay.

Jill Donovan:
You don’t go that fast.

Kelly Smith:
Does anybody listen to this?

Jill Donovan:
Actually, you know what we’re going to do before we start those bracelets questions and I’m going to just randomly ask you questions? I put four subjects in here.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Because this will catch me Off Guard. So there’s four different subjects in here and I want you to reach in this cup and pick out one subject and whatever you pick out is what we’re going to ask questions about.

Kelly Smith:
You know that this is like, I’m the only person here that doesn’t feel intimidated by this?

Jill Donovan:
I know, I love it. I love it. I love how humble you are.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, parenting.

Jill Donovan:
Parenting.

Kelly Smith:
That’s going to be good. Oh, I hope my children aren’t going to listen to this.

Jill Donovan:
I will tailor my questions towards parenting. Okay, so we already started the first one. How many kids do you have?

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
Regarding social media, do you allow your children to have their electronics at the dinner table?

Kelly Smith:
No.

Jill Donovan:
What if they bring it to the dinner table?

Kelly Smith:
Then I ask 74 times to put that away and let’s eat dinner.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Do you really need to take that many times to tell your children to do something?

Kelly Smith:
Yes.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Do you cut their time off on social media at any given time before bedtime?

Kelly Smith:
Yes.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. I’m putting check marks for positive things you do [crosstalk 00:05:30] and then we’ll add up the column up at the end. And this decides if you get to stay with us. Okay. Number three. At what age were your children when you told them about the birds and the bees?

Kelly Smith:
Okay. Let’s see. I have a boy, a girl and a boy. I’m not responsible for the boys, so you’ll have to ask my husband about the boys. I’m not getting involved with that.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
But my daughter, I talked about the birds in the bees when she was about 12.

Jill Donovan:
12 okay. We have a young listener here today. Kate, how old are you?

Kate:
Nine.

Jill Donovan:
You’re nine? Okay. You’ve got three more years before Kelly will tell you about the bracelets, birds and the bees. Okay. So you told her at 12?

Kelly Smith:
Sure. I’m guessing.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. I have a year to go with [Pena 00:00:06:12]. Okay.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, you have not had this discussion with your 11 year old?

Jill Donovan:
So number five. Do you have any pets?

Kelly Smith:
I do.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. What kind of pets?

Kelly Smith:
Dog. One.

Jill Donovan:
If your dog could talk for 60 seconds, what would he say about you as a parent?

Kelly Smith:
Well, first of all, he’d talk like because his name is Henry and he’s really very nervous all the time. “Mom, I love you. When you’re coming home? Oh, mom. Hi, hi.” That’s how he talks.

Jill Donovan:
The only thing that would’ve made that better is if you did it in a New Jersey accent.

Kelly Smith:
Well, but he doesn’t have a New Jersey accent because he’s from Tulsa!

Jill Donovan:
That makes sense. All right, so tell me, what would Henry say about your parenting if he had 60 seconds?

Kelly Smith:
Well, he is by far my most obedient child.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
And he listens the best and he loves me the most of everybody. So he would be very grateful and he would just say, “Mom, I love you so much. Thank you for everything you do for me.”

Jill Donovan:
The next podcast that we’re going to start is if dogs could talk and you’re [crosstalk 00:07:14] going to star in it.

Kelly Smith:
Ask everybody what their dog sounds like.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. That’s perfect. If your family were going to star in a movie, what would the title of that movie be?

Kelly Smith:
What would my family…

Jill Donovan:
First thing that comes to your mind?

Kelly Smith:
Same fam.

Jill Donovan:
The family you have now.

Kelly Smith:
Yeah, right. No. What I always tell you when we go on vacations, same bracelets problems, just different locations.

Jill Donovan:
Oh no, that’s perfect. That’s a great title.

Kelly Smith:
That’s what it is.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Same problems, different, same family, same problems.

Kelly Smith:
Same family problems, just a different location.

Jill Donovan:
Yes.

Kelly Smith:
When you go on vacation, you’re like, “Oh no, it’s all going to be different because we’re on vacation. It’s going to be perfect. We’re going to bond, we’re going to spend time together.” Nope. Same family problems. Just a new location that we like better.

Jill Donovan:
Didn’t you just come back from vacation?

Kelly Smith:
Yeah.

Jill Donovan:
Where did you go?

Kelly Smith:
Mexico.

Jill Donovan:
And was it the same? Was it exactly that same family?

Kelly Smith:
Yes. And I always think my one child who shall unname, name-

Jill Donovan:
Henry?

Kelly Smith:
… Remain nameless. No, not Henry. I always think he’s going to be so grateful because he’s going to have so much fun and then every time we’re like in paradise and he’s like, “I’m ready to go back to the room.” I’m like, “Oh my gosh, we’re in paradise. Can you find something to do with yourself that’s not on the phone?” No.

Jill Donovan:
Does his name rhyme with barley or jam?

Kelly Smith:
It rhymes with barley.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. Poor Charlie.

Kelly Smith:
Yeah.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
He’s not listening.

Jill Donovan:
How much of, because you take his phone away. How much of a sucker are you as a mom?

Kelly Smith:
I would say I am not a sucker at all. I would say the sucker in the family is dad.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. And will you give into anything? Tell me something you’ll give into.

Kelly Smith:
I will watch TV or watch movies at any time. They can sucker me in by let’s go to the movies or let’s watch something on TV together. But as far as trying to pull one over on me, I’m pretty good.

Jill Donovan:
Kelly, for those of you who don’t know, Kelly, which is probably a lot of people listening or watching, Kelly is a TV-holic. Kelly and I have known each other for 30 plus years and the main thing that tied us together other than bracelets, one of the main things is that we loved watching TV together. We loved the same TV shows.

Kelly Smith:
And as a matter of fact, every job I’ve had in this company, the first thing I want to know is, where is my desk in relation to the television that’s going to be on the wall?

Jill Donovan:
And will you tell everybody where the desk is right now in relation to the TV?

Kelly Smith:
I chose the area that would have a direct line to watching TV all day long and I sit right in front of it.

Jill Donovan:
And your favorite TV show?

Kelly Smith:
Survivor.

Jill Donovan:
Oh, you’re still watching that?

Kelly Smith:
It’s on.

Jill Donovan:
It’s still on?

Kelly Smith:
Yes. Okay. I have a TV story I have to tell you.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
Do we have time for it?

Jill Donovan:
Kelly TV Smith, yes we do.

Kelly Smith:
This is a horrible story actually. It just happened last night.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. We love horrible stories.

Kelly Smith:
And I love all of the people involved in this story.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
However, last night, my 14 year old had a bunch of his friends over and I received, because okay, my husband doesn’t like TV that much at all.

Jill Donovan:
And you’re still together?

Kelly Smith:
Right. But he’s like, “Let’s read books and sit on the couch together.” And I’m like, “Let’s watch TV constantly. All night long.” I want to go to bed with the TV on, when I wake up first thing I do is turn the TV on. And he wants to talk about bracelets feelings and read. What? No thanks. Anyhow, So for mother’s day, he-

Jill Donovan:
This year?

Kelly Smith:
… Yes. Finally got around, in June to buying me a mother’s day present. And he bought me the best gift in the whole world.

Jill Donovan:
What?

Kelly Smith:
He upgraded the TV in the living room to a 55-inch monster TV, 4K, I love more than anything. It’s my favorite thing that I’ve ever-

Jill Donovan:
He went out and purchased that himself?

Kelly Smith:
Plugged it in, got the whole thing going. I love it. Okay. So now that was about four weeks ago.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. 55-inch, 4K TV.

Kelly Smith:
Charlie had all of his friends over last night and it was an accident, a total accident. But his very sweet friend who I really love.

Jill Donovan:
What does his name rhyme with?

Kelly Smith:
I don’t want to tell you.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
But maybe dam… was…

Jill Donovan:
Wait, wait. What would that, Cam, Sam! Okay. Okay. Okay.

Kelly Smith:
… was playing this virtual reality video game and punched the TV and it is completely destroyed.

Speaker 4:
Oh, my God.

Speaker 5:
Oh my God.

Jill Donovan:
Say it isn’t so.

Kelly Smith:
I cried. I have not cried since, well, it’s too horrible for me to actually say on video and then, but I haven’t cried in a long time, like really cried tears about something sad.

Jill Donovan:
Now, we need to know what you [inaudible 00:11:45]

Kelly Smith:
I cry at church, I cry. But I mean cry tears for sadness.

Jill Donovan:
So he, let me get this straight. Hold on. I got to rewind for a second. They were playing a video game and his friend-

Kelly Smith:
Who is a very sweet, wonderful boy.

Jill Donovan:
… punched the TV? How do you even [crosstalk 00:11:59].

Kelly Smith:
Have you ever done this virtual reality thing?

Jill Donovan:
Yes, yes.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. So he lost track of where he was in the room because he was playing the game and really into it and got too close to the TV and he was swinging his arms and swung at the TV and it-

Jill Donovan:
Shattered?

Kelly Smith:
… Yes. The whole thing is completely destroyed.

Jill Donovan:
And was [Guile 00:12:17] home when this happened?

Kelly Smith:
Yes, he was. And he was great and handled the whole thing. But I was like, “I’m going to stay upstairs.” Because I don’t think I have, I don’t want to shatter this child if I start crying about my television in front of him. “I’m just going to stay upstairs.”

Jill Donovan:
How long did you cry?

Kelly Smith:
I ranted and raved and slammed things around upstairs and then I’m still not really over it. It’s pretty fresh.

Jill Donovan:
Is the TV still up there? Is it watchable?

Kelly Smith:
I told, because we literally still have the box in the garage. It’s that new of a TV. I told Guile, I’m like, “Take the dead body out. I don’t want to see that thing. Just put it away and get it out of my sight.”

Jill Donovan:
Is it watchable at all?

Kelly Smith:
Totally destroyed.

Jill Donovan:
No noise, you can’t even listen?

Kelly Smith:
You can’t, it doesn’t work.

Jill Donovan:
And what did Guile say that you guys were going to do as a result of your now dead TV?

Kelly Smith:
Did I mention that he’s a very nice man and he loves Jesus a lot. And he was like, “Honey, it’s just things. We’re going to get it worked out.” And I was like, “I want it worked out by the time I get home from work today.”

Jill Donovan:
Was that this morning?

Kelly Smith:
That was this morning.

Jill Donovan:
It was this morning. Okay. Well, the funny thing about this segment is it’s called Off Guard and what we decided to do before you even walked down here was to get you a new 55-inch 4K.

Kelly Smith:
No!

Jill Donovan:
… Yes we did. We are getting you-

Kelly Smith:
What did you do?

Jill Donovan:
… that, because I wanted to prove to you that we were, [crosstalk 00:13:47] a 55-inch. A 55-inch TV has Kelly’s name on it and I can’t believe you actually brought that story up because I was going to lead you to that story.

Kelly Smith:
No, no need.

Jill Donovan:
A little birdie told me-

Kelly Smith:
It’s that big of an issue in my life.

Jill Donovan:
Yes. So your wish has come true because by the end of this day, we are now getting you-

Kelly Smith:
And now I’m going to cry tears of joy.

Jill Donovan:
… We are getting you a 55-inch 4K TV to replace that one. This is called Off Guard.

Kelly Smith:
First of all, you’re not doing that because that’s ridiculous.

Jill Donovan:
No, it’s not ridiculous. Everybody in this room doesn’t know it, but they’re pitching in and it will come out of your last paycheck.

Kelly Smith:
You guys are the best. It’s just getting decremented from your checks. It’s fine. You don’t need to eat, do you? But I need this TV.

Jill Donovan:
I’m replacing your 55-inch TV because we have had a shared love. Consider it my 30th anniversary gift.

Kelly Smith:
You know me?

Jill Donovan:
Yes.

Kelly Smith:
That was shattering to me.

Jill Donovan:
I know. This is life-giving to you and if you don’t come into work without having life given to you the night before, you might as well not be here.

Kelly Smith:
I’m serious. I haven’t even watched the bachelorette from last night because my TV is broken.

Jill Donovan:
Okay, good news is that she left the show last night.

Kelly Smith:
She left the show?

Jill Donovan:
Yeah.

Kelly Smith:
The bachelorette?

Jill Donovan:
Yeah. She walked off.

Kelly Smith:
What do you mean she left the show?

Jill Donovan:
Well, I’m not going to tell you. You just have to wait till you get your new 55-inch 4K TV to watch it.

Kelly Smith:
Okay. I don’t really want you to buy me this, but-

Jill Donovan:
It’s already done.

Kelly Smith:
… the fact that, what are you doing? It’s because I probably came down and told these two nuts all day long today, and then we…

Jill Donovan:
It is already done and your TV will be waiting for you before you leave work today.

Kelly Smith:
What!

Jill Donovan:
Erica, hurry up. Go…

Kelly Smith:
My keys were in my purse upstairs [crosstalk 00:15:37].

Jill Donovan:
No, but for real, for real. Two little birdies did tell me about this and so I thought it was just fantastic that you went into that story without even having to be coerced into it.

Kelly Smith:
Because I’m not kidding. I cried. I was so disappointed.

Jill Donovan:
How do you feel now?

Kelly Smith:
I feel a little bit in shock and a lot of bit grateful, but I also don’t, I feel guilty.

Jill Donovan:
Okay, I need you to let that go. Okay? Because this is the deal. In giving this to you, this is not even close to repaying you for all the joy that you’ve given me over the last 30 years to be able to talk about TV. Nobody loves TV more than you do, and I cannot share that joy with anybody. [crosstalk 00:16:18]. My husband does not like TV or bracelets. My children just watch Netflix on their iPad now. It’s not the same as TV.

Kelly Smith:
I love TV.

Jill Donovan:
I love TV. Somebody turn the TV on now.

Kelly Smith:
What is it? It’s just so great.

Jill Donovan:
It’s so great. Don’t give me an iPad or a laptop to replace TV.

Kelly Smith:
No, no. There’s something about it. It’s just like everybody needs to be going home and watching TV tonight.

Jill Donovan:
Yeah. And the way we’re going to end this show, sometimes we end it-

Kelly Smith:
Oh, it’s over?

Jill Donovan:
… You will be back. The way we’re going to end this show is we’re going to end this with your very favorite quote. The very first one that comes to your mind.

Kelly Smith:
My favorite quote?

Jill Donovan:
Or your favorite dance move. I will let you choose.

Kelly Smith:
Oh, I guess I’ll just have to do the floss thing.

Jill Donovan:
Okay. I’ll do the floss with you.

Kelly Smith:
Okay.

Jill Donovan:
Here we go.

Kelly Smith:
Ready?

Jill Donovan:
It’s no fun for people that are just listening. Can’t see it. Okay. Which side do you want to start on?

Kelly Smith:
Hold on. I got to move this chair.

Jill Donovan:
Okay.

Kelly Smith:
And then I got to get my [inaudible 00:17:12].

Jill Donovan:
And go. Wait. Just a little bit bracelets music. Just turn. Thank you. And we will see you next time on CEO-ish