When Your Mom Waits 49 Years to Share Important Information

Show Notes

Jill's mom, Judy, shares candidly (without holding anything back) the best advice she would give herself if she could go back four decades.
Rustic Cuff | Shop Our Instagram

Audio Transcription

Speaker 1:
Do you ever feel like you’re building an arc with only the instructions for canoe? If so, you’re not alone. Welcome to CEO-ish where we’ll discuss traveling the path of the unknown while making it your own.

Jill:
The one and only Judy Reamer, my mom is here visiting trying to take Kelly’s spot as the sidekick here on our CEO-ish bracelets podcast today.

Judy Reamer:
Excuse me, Jill.

Jill:
Oh.

Judy Reamer:
I want to say something.

Jill:
I’m suddenly five years old.

Judy Reamer:
I want to announce this to everyone that’s listening because they will be praying for you. I am not your real mother. You are adopted. You are not a twin. That’s why you don’t look like Jeff, you don’t have the same personality, the same interest. There is not one thing that is the same about you and Jeff.

Jill:
I’m seeing my bracelets counselor right now.

Judy Reamer:
And I don’t know why you have not noticed all these years. You’ve never asked me why you and Jeff are so different. Do you mind me announcing it?

Jill:
Absolute not.

Judy Reamer:
Because then a lot of people will be able to support you and pray for you. Okay. What were you saying Jill?

Jill:
Thank you for joining us today on CEO-ish. We will see you next time. That was good mom.

Judy Reamer:
Okay.

Jill:
You didn’t even warn me for that one.

Judy Reamer:
Okay. Gotcha.

Jill:
Oh, that’s funny. And I want to tell you mom, that we don’t really have a podcast. This is a setup.

Judy Reamer:
Is this 20th Century Fox Movie?

Jill:
Yes.

Judy Reamer:
Okay, because that’s not…

Jill:
You are in the middle of a reality show. Okay. This is Judy Reamer and she is my mother, my mom, madre. My mom is exactly 30 years older than I am, soon to be 70 next year and I am so excited because everything that I am and ever had been and ever will be is because of my dad and because of my mom, because my mom.

Jill:
I am so excited mom, to introduce you to the world. First of all, thank you for being here with us today. And secondly, I love you.

Judy Reamer:
I love you too.

Jill:
Love you.

Judy Reamer:
To the moon they say now.

Jill:
Well, they say back, and back.

Judy Reamer:
And back.

Jill:
Well, they’ve been saying that for a while.

Judy Reamer:
Or maybe you should say, “Mom, you hung the moon.”

Jill:
Okay, we can say-

Judy Reamer:
I would like that.

Jill:
… “My mom hung the moon.”

Judy Reamer:
Thank you.

Jill:
Mom, you hung the moon. My mom has never done a podcast.

Judy Reamer:
Yet. I have no hangups.

Jill:
No, she doesn’t have any hangups.

Judy Reamer:
Okay.

Jill:
She likes to interject her humor. Is interject the right word was it inject?

Judy Reamer:
Interject.

Jill:
Interject. My mom was also a grammar teacher and as well as an art teacher. Mom, just really quick, can I just tell a little bit about your bracelets background in 60 seconds?

Judy Reamer:
Yes.

Jill:
Okay. My mom was born and raised in Philadelphia-

Judy Reamer:
One.

Jill:
… Pennsylvania.

Judy Reamer:
Two. Three.

Jill:
She then met and married my dad at the University of Maryland and she became an art teacher, had four children and has traveled all over the world speaking and telling her story. And then beyond that and has managed to balance an entire family and friends with also traveling the world over the last 43-

Judy Reamer:
I think juggle. Juggle.

Jill:
Oh, instead of balance?

Judy Reamer:
Yeah.

Jill:
Ah. Nobody says, “How do you juggle things?” They say, “How do you balance?”

Judy Reamer:
Well, you’re 30 years younger, so we used to say, “How did you juggle raising your children and traveling all over?”

Jill:
When I had my first child, I said to my mom, “How in the world do you do all this and still shower.?” And she had a three year old, a one year old, and then got pregnant with twins. Didn’t know she was having twins.

Judy Reamer:
Because when I had babies in those years you couldn’t have any sonogram. You had to wait till the eighth month to have an X-Ray.

Jill:
Where you wondering why you were so big?

Judy Reamer:
I was busy dealing with Mark and Johnny, your brothers. I didn’t have much time to wonder about why I was so big because they were so little.

Jill:
Yeah. She found out in her eighth month that she was pregnant with twins and then she has had four children and traveled the world. My dad, who mom married when you were how old, 20?

Judy Reamer:
21 I think.

Jill:
And my dad was the most wonderful man that I’ve ever met unless my husband’s listening and then they tied. But he passed away from pancreatic cancer 20 years ago tomorrow.

Judy Reamer:
Yep, tomorrow. Right.

Jill:
Tomorrow.

Judy Reamer:
I normally on the day that dad passed away, I like if I could get on a plane, fly to Japan, and that way that whole day has disappeared, but I’ve never done it. Meaning there was no 25th of September if you get on a plane from here and fly to Japan.

Jill:
Did you come up with that or you had by somebody who did that?

Judy Reamer:
Oh no, I came up with it. Everything is original that I say. I’ve never ever quoted anybody not even [bracelets]. No.

Jill:
Do you know that I would be coming back from Hong Kong today or yesterday?

Judy Reamer:
Yes. [crosstalk 00:05:34].

Jill:
We should go to Japan tomorrow, that would be today.

Judy Reamer:
Yes. Right.

Jill:
Yes.

Judy Reamer:
All right.

Jill:
Wow. That’s…

Judy Reamer:
Okay.

Jill:
Mom is here and we’re going to have a lot of fun. We’re going to do a couple of podcasts together and normally, I would ask my guest co-hosts to bring a change of clothes, so it looks like we did them on different days. But since we just decided to be very authentic-

Judy Reamer:
I could take my necklace off.

Jill:
Yes.

Judy Reamer:
Okay.

Jill:
We can switch.

Judy Reamer:
Right.

Jill:
Actually, you can wear this jacket now and I’ll wear that purple shirt.

Judy Reamer:
Right. That’s right. That’s right.

Jill:
We’re going to do a couple of these bracelets with my mom today and we’re just going to roll with it, but we’re going to keep this one short mom and so I’m going to ask you one question. Okay?

Jill:
If your almost 70 year old self could go back and tell a mom of four kids at very early ages, something about life back then, what would you tell her?

Judy Reamer:
The one thing that I would change, not knowing that you were going to ask this, but that’s an easy one for… If I could go back, what I would change would be to watch the way each one of you leaned and bent in your temperament and I would have leaned with you. But what I did was, not knowing any better, I wanted all four of you to think the way I think, say things the way I say them.

Jill:
You’re not leaning with me.

Judy Reamer:
Oh, lean. Leaning.

Jill:
Okay. Go ahead.

Judy Reamer:
Leaning.

Jill:
Go ahead. Go ahead.

Judy Reamer:
Leaning. Anyway. I would have paid attention to your temperament and not been concerned that you think like I think, say things the way I say them, or do things the way I do them because the four of you are totally different from one another.

Jill:
Give me an example of how your four kids were so different.

Judy Reamer:
Okay. For instance, one time people were coming over to look at our home in Pensacola because we had put it up for sale and I said to all four of you, “You are to go in your rooms, you have one hour to clean your room. Someone’s coming to look at the house.” You each went to your room and disappeared for an hour and I said, “I’ll be back.”

Judy Reamer:
The first store I opened was Mark, your oldest brother. And I opened up his store and there Mark sat on the floor in the midst of all the clutter that was there an hour before. Total mess. You couldn’t even see his bureau. Nothing that was horizontal. It was totally covered with everything. And there sat Mark with a big smile on his face, legs crossed Indian style, happy as could be, “Mama.”

Judy Reamer:
I said, “Mark, look at this room.” “I’m getting to it. But mom, mom.” He had a scrapbook. When he started cleaning, he found a scrapbook. “Mom, look at this. Do you remember when we did this? Remember when we went on this vacation? Mom…” “Mark, your room is a mess.” Mom. Mom. I’m getting there.” Mark never could get to finish anything because he’d come across something else that was exciting that he wanted to talk about.

Judy Reamer:
The next room I went to was your room. And your room was dusted and vacuumed. You could take a white glove and go over your Bureau. No dust. But I opened up your closet and everything totally fell out of the closet on me, all over the floor. I looked under the bed. You had stuffed everything under the bed, meaning this was your way of cleaning a room. You shove everything in the room under beds, in closets, throw them in the drawers, but you dusted and vacuumed.

Jill:
There’s that.

Judy Reamer:
Okay. Then I go into Jeff’s room, your brother, twin brother. And Jeff had not dusted and vacuumed, but open up his closet. Everything was hung, perfectly, color coordinated. Open up his drawers, every item of clothing was folded perfectly in order, stacked but no dusting or vacuumed. And this is what he considered cleaning his room meant.

Jill:
What a wreck.

Judy Reamer:
Yep. You would dust. See, you should have worked together as twins.

Jill:
I’m sorry.

Judy Reamer:
You do the dusting and vacuuming and he fold-

Jill:
But now to find out we’re not even twins what would have been the point?

Judy Reamer:
That’s right.

Jill:
What about the Johnny?

Judy Reamer:
And then but Johnny was the funniest one.

Jill:
And before you get to Johnny, I want to say something. Every child that has siblings knows that there is always one favorite. And even though the parents will deny it for the entirety of your life-

Judy Reamer:
Absolutely.

Jill:
… there is always a favorite. And I want to say, I want to go on record for saying that there is not only just a favorite, but the parents say things like he is the funniest ever.

Judy Reamer:
Yes, he’s funny.

Jill:
I do laugh at Johnny occasionally. He can be funny, but I find myself laughing more at myself.

Judy Reamer:
You laugh at yourself and that’s what I want to talk to you about. The reason you laugh at yourself is… Because I’ve stood back and watched and observed. … nobody is laughing when you talk, so you’re laughing at yourself. Whereas when I speak, I never have to laugh at myself because everybody else is just laughing, chuckling and giggling, so I don’t have to expend the energy of laughter when I’m speaking.

Jill:
You don’t ever think I’m funny. I’ve heard my entire life, “Your brother Johnny is the funny… Did you see what he did?” And I was like, “Yes, mom. I saw that he put a bracelets ad wig on and went into the grocery store. That was funny.” Johnny could do no wrong. We all knew it. We all knew it. She’s getting ready to tell you a story about Johnny’s room and even though I don’t know how this story ends, I bet Johnny dusted and vacuumed. I bet everything was lined up and I bet you could see the Bureau, for those of you who were born in 1930.

Judy Reamer:
Totally wrong about everything you said. First of all, Johnny is on a tier of comedy that you don’t even understand. That’s what it is, that he is on a level of comedic genius that I appreciate.

Jill:
We’re calling Johnny today.

Judy Reamer:
Because I think funny. I think funny. Johnny thinks funny. But really, the reason he was the favorite-

Jill:
Okay.

Judy Reamer:
… is his looks. He is just really gorgeous.

Jill:
And now I’m calling Jeff and Mark.

Speaker 3:
[inaudible 00:12:29].

Jill:
That’s the other thing. Johnny was funny and was the favorite, but she always would say things like, “Johnny is so incredibly handsome.” I never heard her say that about the other three.

Judy Reamer:
Yes. And Johnny graduated college, [inaudible 00:12:46] and took the finals for CPA at the same time he was studying every-

Jill:
CPA at the same time he got married.

Judy Reamer:
Right. I mean, he’s brilliant. He is gorgeous. He is really funny. And he’s the bracelets peacemaker in the family.

Jill:
If I haven’t heard the word pacemaker one time, I’ve heard it a thousand times.

Judy Reamer:
Okay. Now let’s get to Johnny’s room.

Jill:
Okay, Jonny’s room.

Judy Reamer:
How wrong you were about his room. This is comedy genius. You will not appreciate this, but there will be people listening and watching that will go, “Johnny is the best child and the most creative and funniest.” I go up to Johnny’s door and there was a sign on the door, “Studying for finals. Please do not disturb.”

Jill:
You are joking me. That is the funniest thing I have ever, ever heard. Wait, are you saying he put a sign on the door that said, “Studying for finals?”

Judy Reamer:
Yes. “Do not disturb.”

Jill:
That’s brilliant. I get it mom.

Judy Reamer:
It is brilliant. Now when I opened up his door, this is Johnny’s reasoning, he said, “Anyone that’s coming to look at the home…” His room was a mess, total mess. He said, “But see, nobody will care about coming into my room because they will respect that I am studying for finals and they will not question or care. They will think that is absolutely wonderful,” so he absolutely believed that, that was the best idea.

Jill:
You should have set me up with Johnny since it turns out I’m not his sister anyhow.

Judy Reamer:
And look how gorgeous your kids would be. Because Johnny so gorgeous and look at your two children now.

Jill:
I want to rewind. We can’t rewire that this moment, but I want to show you how hard you laughed at what I said just now. Do you hear that again?

Judy Reamer:
No, I’m looking at the camera person because of what she’s doing right now to make me laugh really hard.

Jill:
Okay. Basically, the bottom line is mom, you would bend with your children instead of… Or you would lean with them instead of the other way?

Judy Reamer:
Absolutely. I would not try to make the children think the way I think. Say things the way I say them or do things the way I do them. Absolutely. And I discovered it when I saw how they went about cleaning their rooms. That’s when the light came on. And so that’s the one thing if I have to ask my children to forgive me for. First of all, forgive me for not telling you that you were adopted.

Judy Reamer:
Now I’m asking you to forgive me, please, please, for causing you to lean. Let’s lean.

Jill:
Lean.

Judy Reamer:
Lean towards me.

Jill:
But you’d still want us to clean your room. There still would be disciplined. We’d still be disciplined for not cleaning our room.

Judy Reamer:
Yes.

Jill:
You’re just saying, in general you would maybe tailor the bracelets communication.

Judy Reamer:
What was that word?

Jill:
Tailor. It’s…

Judy Reamer:
Tailor? Not juggle.

Jill:
Uh-huh (affirmative). Oh, it’s a millennial term.

Judy Reamer:
Tailored?

Jill:
Yeah.

Judy Reamer:
Okay. I wouldn’t juggle my children. All right. Okay.

Jill:
We’ll ask Johnny if Johnny knows what tailor means. I highly doubt he does.

Judy Reamer:
It’s Tuesday and Johnny is studying Hebrew, taking Hebrew at a synagogue in st Louis.

Jill:
Of course, he is.

Judy Reamer:
And there’s four people in the class.

Jill:
[foreign language 00:16:03].

Judy Reamer:
[Foreign language 00:16:02].

Jill:
Oh, sorry. Well, there you go. And that’s how we’re going to end this podcast. Mom loves Johnny. That’s what we’re going to call this podcast, “Mom loves Johnny.” Thank you mom for being here.

Judy Reamer:
And Johnny loves mommy.

Jill:
And Johnny loves mommy. Now it’s getting very strange. Thank you… Wasn’t that fun, your first podcast?

Judy Reamer:
Yes. Yes. It was wonderful. You think this is my first? Jill? I’ve been speaking around the bracelets world.

Jill:
Yes, I know. Toot, toot.

Judy Reamer:
International, Canada and Mexico.

Jill:
Toot, toot.

Judy Reamer:
Okay.

Jill:
Thank you so much for joining us on CEO-ish. We will see you in about five minutes. We’ll see you next time on CEO-ish. Thank you so much. Thank you, mom.

Judy Reamer:
You’re welcome. I love you.

Jill:
I love you, Johnny.